The Power of Letters

Stephanie and I have talked a lot about the way letters can improve communication with your friends, but I want to talk a little bit about how letters are very powerful for getting the things we want. I feel like people completely forget letters when it comes to enacting change within a community, and yet they still remain today as one of the most powerful tools for getting what you want.

I was reading an article about how Michelle Obama is trying to combat child obesity through a new program specially designed to provide children with nutritious lunches, show ways to get outside and get active, and encourage parents and children both to take an active role in nutrition. It was a pretty good article, and I think Mrs. Obama’s heart is in the right place. However, one of the comments was a little sad for me. It went something like this:

Thank goodness the government is finally doing something! Last week I couldn’t find a particular healthy food item in my grocery store, and I was told to look in the nutrition section, but they didn’t have it there, either. Can you believe it? I hope things start to change now.

Really? You couldn’t find an item in your grocery store, so you’re going to sit back and wait for the government to do something? When did we as a nation begin to have this mentality, instead of taking matters into our own hands and writing a letter (or emailing, or calling)? I don’t like how many laws there are in this country, and maybe you don’t either, or maybe you do, but the fact is, it’s much more efficient to actually tell someone, “This is what I want” instead of waiting for Washington (which is notoriously slow and ineffective) to do something about it.

Letters are very powerful, and most people don’t even consider them to be an option much of the time. Dissatisfied with service? You could grumble about it, or you could wait for the government to step in and realize that this particular company has bad business practices (which will take FOREVER), or you could write a letter, an email, or make a phone call and TELL them. Want an item in your local grocery? Write them a letter and tell them. Want your community to put in a red light somewhere? Go to a board meeting, or write your mayor a letter.

It’s effective, and it often WORKS. It’s amazing because we tend to think of letters as being slow, but people do read them, and people will take into account what you have to say. Letters are effective simply because they take an effort to send – they often come across as more sincere than an email, and they’re more tangible than a phone call. Your letter can make a difference. It’s actually really cool.

Here are some links so that you can utilize the power of your pen (warning, most of these are US-oriented simply because that’s where I live):

• Urgent Action Network – Write letters to world leaders to help achieve peace in all countries.
• Any Soldier and Soldiers’ Angels’ Letter Writing Team – Write letters and send care packages to soldiers overseas
• Write Your Representative – Write a letter to your Representative to let him/her know what you want
• Write to your Senator – Write a letter to your Senators to let them know what you want

Also I encourage you to write to businesses and your local government near you. Nobody will ever know what your ideas are unless you tell them.

Social Virtualism

Recently Chris wrote a great entry on what he dubbed Social Virtualization, or the idea that you can follow your friends on Twitter and Facebook in such a way that you never need to actually “catch up” with them, but instead you can know intimately about their lives based on the information you’re given (for example, learning about a friend’s upcoming wedding on Facebook – no need to actually call a person to inform them of your engagement!). It means you’re constantly connected with the people around you long after your relationship with them has faded, and similarly, you are connected to people long before you forge a friendship with them.

Chris mentioned social virtualism as a constant connection thing and the dangers of being unable to disconnect and how that is detrimental to a lot of relationships. You forget to check your friend’s twitter update? They might get pissed at you. If you disconnect for a minute people actually get offended by the fact that you haven’t been following their status updates. One example he gave was texting – texting is considered to be an “immediate” form of communication, but texting is actually silent and easy to miss. Many people turn their phone ringers on but turn a texting ringer off – if your phone is in your bag and you have it set to vibrate (or nothing at all), you will miss the text until the next time you check your phone. But many people get offended if you do not answer their texts immediately.

I’d like to talk about the flip-side, though. More communication does NOT mean more friendships. Honestly, it can mean less. We spend so long in our Internet world, forging “friendships” with people we would never want to meet in real life or hang out with or have a phone call with. Stephanie and I met online and quickly became fast friends but we have visited each other twice, despite the fact that we live across the country from each other. But I’ve noticed that these are rare, and more often do people spend their time hanging on to high-school acquaintances, cultivating their 4000 Facebook “friends”, and generally avoiding actually spending quality time with people.

I’m an advocate of turning off the computer and going outside – a huge advocate. I work as a designer/web developer – I sit and stare at a screen allllllllll day. When I get home I want to do nothing more than turn off the computer and play with my cats, paint a picture, or go for a walk with Chris. I don’t want to post on message boards, follow Twitter religiously, and check my email every five minutes. These aren’t fun to me, and I understand they’re fun for other people, but you have to realize something.

There are people out there like me, Stephanie, and Chris who are interested in people like you. We want to hang out with you, have coffee and lunch or go to the park. Unfortunately, I really can’t beat the appeal of “networking” on the “Internet.” I can’t beat World of Warcraft and Farmville and chatting online. I’m interesting but people are far more likely and willing to sit on their butts all day because it’s “fun.”

As little as 10 years ago, we met people through our community. I think those days are long gone, replaced by social virtualization, the act of thinking you have friends when really they’re all just virtual. It’s no wonder we have fewer friends now than we did 25 years ago. Not including family or Chris, I have four people that I can go to for anything I need – three friends from school and Stephanie, but many Americans have NONE. Am I the only one who thinks this is sad?

I think this is just one part of the problem why we have no friends. I will touch on the next part in my next post. It involves trust.

How do you feel about this? Why do you think we have less friends? What do you think communities will look like 10 years from now?

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