The Art of the Thank You
Posted by Stephanie on 1st Feb in Social, Writing. Tags: letters, Miss Manners
Hello all! Have you missed me? I have to admit, the more and more I reacquaint myself with the Internet world, the more and more I realize how much I’ve missed all of YOU. I’ve always said that the reason blogging is such a great outlet is because of the connections you make with other people. So, here I am, once again trying hard to establish a habit of writing.
Speaking of writing, when was the last time you thought about writing thank-you cards? Was it that time, just after Christmas, where you threw a fit when your mother reminded you for the umpteenth time that you have to write thank-you cards for all the presents you got, but you didn’t like the presents you got so you didn’t want to thank whoever gave you them? Or was it when you last applied for a job, and sent along a note thanking the interviewer for giving you a chance, as many people recommend you do? Neither? Both?
To be sure, writing thank-you cards has possibly become more of a lost art than letter-writing, as I have yet to come across a “thank-you cards” blog, but I have come across multitudes of letter-writing ones. Letter-writing is re-surging in the public interest, but thank-you cards remain something only talked about when Emily Post is brought up.
To which I say: No more! Let’s talk about writing thank-you letters. Hey, let’s talk about telling people thank-you, from your heart! What I find wanting in the age of mass communication is not a lack of communication, but a lack of honest communication. It seems to me that I only talk about important things in my classes, and then I talk about them intellectually rather than passionately. I want to talk passionately more often, with more people. I want to have a Meeting of the Minds about how I feel about stewarding the Earth over a cup of hot chocolate at a local café. I want to talk about art and creativity, and how they make you feel more alive. I want to talk about what’s in your heart.
And I want to make absolutely sure those people that do kind things for me know how much I appreciate it.
Which is why I keep a variety of blank note-cards on hand: whenever I receive a gift, or experience someone’s kindness, I like to make sure I have my cards on-hand so that I can write while I’m still feeling the initial awe and gratitude. I find that I don’t want to write a thank-you note if I have to lay out money for a new card each time, and if I have cards already I’m still so excited about the receipt of a gift that I really, really want to just write it out. Then it’s done already, without fuss and with real excitement.
Part of me wonders if my partiality to thank-you cards comes from my time spent in Vienna, a city where the people are readily characterized as “very well-mannered”. While my professors certainly acted with a degree of manners to which I am not at all used to (as a rude American), there was one event in which a couple of strangers did the kindest things for me, simply because they were asked to. I couldn’t fathom their generosity. I wanted so badly to make sure they knew how much I appreciated it, and I bought a thank-you card right away and sent it off. I’m still not sure if it was received, but I hope they know that they contributed greatly to my good impression of a certain landmark and architect in Vienna.
Because of the Viennese rubbing off on me, and my own desire to make people feel appreciated, blank cards for thank-you notes are an important tool in my arsenal of stationery. They may not be used extremely often, but they are there for the times when I realize I need them, and I hope I have convinced you as well of their utility.
Remember to enter Becky’s giveaway! Enough entries and I might host one of my own.
8 Responses to “The Art of the Thank You”
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Even if I had thank you cards, 90% of the time I’d not . . . do it. I admit, I am lazy. But I also like to thank people in my own ways, which usually does not deal with thank you cards, but with a different card all together, hahaha.
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I do understand laziness, but I still think that even if you have the opportunity to thank someone in other ways, it’s a nice idea to send a card. People feel super appreciated when they get a thank you card, and besides that, it’s really polite. I personally love giving and receiving thank you cards, and even when I forget, it’s still better late than never!
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Do you know that your “home” link up top links to your most recent post? I had to trim it to http://lunsh.net/ to add it to my Blogroll – and thanks for including me in yours!
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Is it bad that I don’t want to write a thank you card? Most of the time I lose faith in people, so I feel like writing a thank you card would give them encouragement that they don’t deserve. I’m sure I sound absolutely horrible, lol, but I guess I’m the stereotypical rude American. I should work on that. I love receiving cards, but actually sending them out… that’s going to take some work, eek!
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Could you further explain what you mean by your loss of faith in people, that you don’t want to encourage them? I just don’t understand exactly what you mean, and I would like to.
I personally love writing thank-you cards because I love expressing my gratitude, but I can understand if you just don’t like writing cards, or something. I think it’s still important, even if you don’t like it.
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I write thank-you letters/notes — I’ve done it for job interviews, and for gifts received long distance, but I have also stopped writing to some people who never acknowledge my letters. One can only write into the void for so long… A specific example: I always wrote thank yous to my in-laws for Christmas gifts, and I always promptly sent birthday cards & gifts to them all, but my mother-in-law has only recognized my birthday once in 10 years (after my sister-in-law prompted her), and I have never received a written thanks from them for any gifts I’ve sent. I don’t think it’s deliberate rudeness — I’ve decided to think that everyone has different ways of communicating, and I shouldn’t hold it against someone for not taking the time to reciprocate. I don’t want to become one of those smug people who think that their way is the only way, or the “right” way.
But I like your dedication to writing the letters right away, while the thrill of receiving is still fresh. I might have to re-think my letter writing ways……
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Actually in cases like that I completely cede to your argument. I’m just getting started in letter- and thank-you-writing, but if you’ve been writing them for years with no response, I would move on and write my thank-yous to other people.
I agree with you that there is no one way to communicate, but I DO want people to reconsider thank-you notes, and not just write them off out of laziness! Thanks for your comment!
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syntaxoflife
sunbeamj