The Art of the Thank You

Hello all! Have you missed me? I have to admit, the more and more I reacquaint myself with the Internet world, the more and more I realize how much I’ve missed all of YOU. I’ve always said that the reason blogging is such a great outlet is because of the connections you make with other people. So, here I am, once again trying hard to establish a habit of writing.

Speaking of writing, when was the last time you thought about writing thank-you cards? Was it that time, just after Christmas, where you threw a fit when your mother reminded you for the umpteenth time that you have to write thank-you cards for all the presents you got, but you didn’t like the presents you got so you didn’t want to thank whoever gave you them? Or was it when you last applied for a job, and sent along a note thanking the interviewer for giving you a chance, as many people recommend you do? Neither? Both?

To be sure, writing thank-you cards has possibly become more of a lost art than letter-writing, as I have yet to come across a “thank-you cards” blog, but I have come across multitudes of letter-writing ones. Letter-writing is re-surging in the public interest, but thank-you cards remain something only talked about when Emily Post is brought up.

To which I say: No more! Let’s talk about writing thank-you letters. Hey, let’s talk about telling people thank-you, from your heart! What I find wanting in the age of mass communication is not a lack of communication, but a lack of honest communication. It seems to me that I only talk about important things in my classes, and then I talk about them intellectually rather than passionately. I want to talk passionately more often, with more people. I want to have a Meeting of the Minds about how I feel about stewarding the Earth over a cup of hot chocolate at a local café. I want to talk about art and creativity, and how they make you feel more alive. I want to talk about what’s in your heart.

And I want to make absolutely sure those people that do kind things for me know how much I appreciate it.

Which is why I keep a variety of blank note-cards on hand: whenever I receive a gift, or experience someone’s kindness, I like to make sure I have my cards on-hand so that I can write while I’m still feeling the initial awe and gratitude. I find that I don’t want to write a thank-you note if I have to lay out money for a new card each time, and if I have cards already I’m still so excited about the receipt of a gift that I really, really want to just write it out. Then it’s done already, without fuss and with real excitement.

Part of me wonders if my partiality to thank-you cards comes from my time spent in Vienna, a city where the people are readily characterized as “very well-mannered”. While my professors certainly acted with a degree of manners to which I am not at all used to (as a rude American), there was one event in which a couple of strangers did the kindest things for me, simply because they were asked to. I couldn’t fathom their generosity. I wanted so badly to make sure they knew how much I appreciated it, and I bought a thank-you card right away and sent it off. I’m still not sure if it was received, but I hope they know that they contributed greatly to my good impression of a certain landmark and architect in Vienna.

Because of the Viennese rubbing off on me, and my own desire to make people feel appreciated, blank cards for thank-you notes are an important tool in my arsenal of stationery. They may not be used extremely often, but they are there for the times when I realize I need them, and I hope I have convinced you as well of their utility.

Remember to enter Becky’s giveaway! Enough entries and I might host one of my own.

It’s apparently a new year

So, due to the lack of response I got for the giveaway, I’m going to extend it another week. To enter, comment here!

So far 2010 has not been off to a good start. Between work traveling and stresses in general, I’ve been pretty busy and stressed out. Fortunately, that’s all over now so I’m looking forward to pretending that none of that existed and instead 2010 is just beginning! I also realized I hadn’t made any goals or resolutions (or acknowledged the new year at all) so here we go.

Goals for 2010:

1. Move somewhere. It unfortunately will not be Chicago this year (in the future, hopefully soon!). It will be somewhere else.

2. Finally (FINALLY) get rid of things I don’t want, and buy things I DO want (and purge, purge, purge – there’s so much stuff that I have that I simply do not need/want/use).

3. Burn more candles, take more pictures, draw more pictures, and write more. In a letter from Stephanie that I just got, she mentioned how it’s funny that she had been wanting to take pictures downtown FOREVER, but hadn’t gotten around to it until just now. I think we all make plans like that, but never follow through, and I realized that I want to start doing stuff that I’ve been meaning to. So, for the sake of coziness and the fact that I Just Really Like Doing These Things But Damn It Is Easier To Be Lazy, this is going to be the year of DOING THINGS, documented on this blog every step of the way!

Things I accomplished in 2009:

1. I got another cat. I’ve had Augustus for a year and a half (!!!), but Sata has only been here for a year. I love that guy – I can’t imagine life without him. While he may be obnoxious when it comes to food, he’s also the sweetest, most affectionate, most wonderful cat ever.

2. I graduated university! It’s true. I obtained my BS in Computer Science from the University of Texas at Austin. I am quite proud.

3. I got a job! Gainful employment is nice, and I like my job a lot, actually. There have been rough patches, and also really good patches, and I’m grateful for everyone I’ve met at my job.

4. I met Stephanie in Real Life. I visited her in the summer and she came to visit here in the fall. Now we just need to decide when to see each other in spring!

How is your new year so far? Is it what you expected it would be? Are you doing your resolutions still or have you given up (assuming you made some in the first place)?

Giveaway!

At last! Lunsh is having its very first giveaway are YOU are invited. The giveaway item is sort of girly, so sorry, gentlemen (but you’re welcome to enter anyway if you’d like!). I’ve been wanting to do a giveaway for seriously months, because that’s how much I love you guys. I really want to give something back to you and giveaways are ALWAYS awesome.

So the giveaway is a Nancy Drew Secret at Shadow Ranch JOURNAL. It has the Nancy Drew book cover, and the pages are lined with smatterings of Nancy Drew illustrations inside from the book itself. The journal is paperback and lays flat, and is about the size of a paperback novel – perfect for taking with you to write all your thoughts in! I really love this journal, and so does Stephanie – and if you’re a big Nancy Drew fan like us, you’ll love it too.

Man, I sound like a salesperson.

Here is a lovely picture of it:

To enter the giveaway, simply comment on this post! The giveaway will end when I return from Boston, this Friday the 29th.

(Hurry, before Augustus eats it!)

Handling stress

Work this week has been stressful with deadlines approaching and I have yet another business trip next week to Boston (yes, I know, no giveaway today either but I realized I can do the giveaway while I’m in Boston! win for everyone!). In the meantime, I’ve been trying to keep my mind off stressful things by doing cozy things like snuggling with cats, crocheting, shopping (NO I DO NOT NEED TO BE SHOPPING AT ALL EVER but it is an addiction UGH), playing Pokemon Diamond, and just trying to keep my mind off the stress.

It’s funny. Sometimes it’s better to talk with someone when you’re stressed, but right now I really just want to not think about it. Because there is no good solution to work travel and the particular work stresses I’m experiencing aside from relaxing lots at home.

I also bought a betta fish for the office named Edgar. He’s awesome, and it feels good to be caring for something at the office as well as at home. And it’s great to just take my mind away from everything and focus on watching Edgar swim around or caring for him.

And of course doing things I love to do and taking care of myself lots.

What do you do when you encounter a problem you can’t solve? Do you prefer to talk or to not think about it?

Bread

Sorry everyone! No giveaway today, because I wanted to post and I don’t have it ready yet. Actually, I’ve been in Boston, Massachusetts all week on business! Boston is beautiful but I’m glad to be home with my kitties and Chris and much warmer weather! We had a cold snap and it’s been in the 20s (and it was in the 20s and 30s in Boston), but in the past few days the weather has warmed and it’s been in the 40s and even the 50s! Much better.

I’ve been fighting a cold as well so I haven’t done much in the way of anything. Aside from Boston, Chris and I have been baking a lot of bread, cakes, and pizzas, which is just perfect. I’ve never really appreciated baking before now, but I can’t seem to stop. Today’s recipe is Peppery Cheese Bread.

Recipes that make two loaves instead of one are my favorite, because of two things.

1. Thing the first: If you’re going to spend 2-3 hours baking bread (don’t be scared! while it does take that long technically, it’s only about half an hour to an hour of work total for most breads – mostly you’ll just be sitting around), you may as well churn out two loaves.
2. Thing the second: I love bread. Chris uses it for sandwiches and I use it for toast in the morning, lightly buttered. We go through roughly two small loaves a week anyway.

One thing to note is that I don’t have a breadmaker. Too expensive, takes up too much room, and there’s something very nice about mixing everything together by hand. I do often use a breadhook on a mixer, so I am cheating a bit on the kneading part, but it’s still a fun, soothing, almost meditative experience. Combine that with some wine and family and you have just about the perfect combination.

Do you bake? What sorts of things do you bake?

As an added bonus, here is a picture of me makin’ some bread before a party.

Cosy

Happy New Year! It always takes me about a week into the new year to realize it is, in fact, a new year, and that something must be done about it (aside from getting used to writing another number in my dates, that is). Greeting “Happy New Year” and all that—I think it’s just to keep me confused.

I disappeared somewhat suddenly at the end of November, overcome with school and feeling. Writing just didn’t seem pleasant then; knitting and going out with friends and finishing the semester Right did. I was still online and chatting almost daily, but my heart certainly wasn’t in my writing.

I suppose Nanowrimo had something to do with that.

Anyway, it’s the new year, there are endless possibilities, good and bad. It’s my birthday month, and my mom said we’ll probably have to celebrate two weekends early, which is this coming weekend. So I’ve been working on my birthday wishlist, and purchasing those things I’d like. My Christmas was great because I got a lot of clothes, which I absolutely needed, but for my birthday I’d like a few more fun things.

After reading Getting through Winter from Hygge House I asked for soy candles to burn in the evenings in my room in Minnesota. Now that I’m in the German house, technically I’m still not allowed to have candles, but no one really cares. I’ve always felt that the heat of candles gives off a cosy glow, and if there’s one thing I really need in Minnesota, it’s cosy.

It is nice to get a break from there, I admit.

In December I made myself a new rule: If I’m feeling cold, I’ll make myself a cup of tea. In reality I didn’t feel that cold that often, but it’s a good way to warm up, drinking a cup of something hot, and something I should remember here, where I don’t need a jacket because if I’m comfortably dressed inside the house it’s enough to go out in.

Anyway, as more and more of my life exists in colder climates I’m trying to catch up by figuring out how to stay cosy… especially on top of mounds and mountains of schoolwork. I’ve been mulling over Becky’s list of things to do to stay cosy. The cat idea is one I employ, willingly or not, while at home with my furball Pepper who doesn’t seem to think of me as a person, just as a lap. I also have a nice blanket I throw over myself when I’m not working on the computer.

See, the problem with staying cosy is that it’s very hard to do while working on your laptop and stressing over schoolwork. But I’ll keep trying.

Writing is a craft that needs to be practiced, and I’m trying to start to get back into it. Hopefully I’ll see more of you in the coming weeks!

Social Virtualism: Fear

Ack, been awhile. I mentioned in my last post about how we are too lazy to seek out new friends. Now I’m going to talk about another component in the picture: fear.

Turn on any news program in the US, UK, or Australia, and chances are you’ll see stories of The White Girl Getting Kidnapped, dangers of sexual predators, toxins in your every day food! Swine Flu! Russians have nukes! Anthrax! THE WAR ON IRAQ! MURDERERS! SERIAL KILLERS! TEACHERS MOLESTING YOUR CHILDREN! RAZOR BLADES IN HALLOWEEN CANDY! THERE ARE NO JOBS! THE ECONOMY! HEALTH CARE REFORM! IT’S COLD OUTSIDE!

It’s no wonder that if you talk to any parent, she will clutch her child protectively and say something to the effect of, “You can trust anybody today.”

I have gone over to friend’s houses who have refused to open their blinds even during broad daylight because “you never know who might be looking in.” I have met parents who refuse to let their children go outside by themselves for fear of kidnapping. Every single new scare that comes in strikes panic in the hearts of us. Every single new person that moves into the neighborhood is probably a drug dealer or a rapist. It doesn’t help that the news is encouraging this as well as books like The Lovely Bones (which is being made into a movie so it can be even more accessible to freak people out) where the killer was the nice neighborly guy next door!

Guess what? I think we secretly like scaring ourselves. I think we like thinking that everyone out there is out to get us because we like the thrill of pretending we’re in an action movie.

But as it turns out, your neighborhood is probably more normal than you think it is. Sure, bad things happen every day but these events are much rarer than real risks and dangers you put yourself in every day, like driving a car. You’re more likely to get into a car accident than have your creepy next door neighbor steal your kid. But no one is afraid to get inside of their cars.

I guess what I’m saying is we can’t foster a community until we stop thinking that everybody on our block is out to get us. We can’t keep believing that our neighbors are “creepy” and “probably drug dealers.” Once we do, suddenly the world becomes a much more pleasant place – our neighbors are friendly and reliable to feed our cats and water our plants while we’re away, the grocery store clerk becomes someone to chat with, and your kids can roam the neighborhood without being kidnapped.

The way I see it, it’s a circle. We fear our neighbors and so we never talk to them. They remain a mystery and we’re always scared of the unknown, so we are afraid of them even more and on and on it goes. And guess what? Your neighbors are probably suspicious of you too. There’s no way to end this until someone finally waves across the yard or has a block party to get to know everyone.

And it’s hard. I don’t know my neighbors very well. I make the excuse, oh, I’m moving in 6 months so what’s the point? But I realized as I left for my parents’ house for Christmas (20 minutes away from where I live with Chris) that it would have been nice to ask my next door neighbor to feed the cats every day. Instead, I have to go back every few days to check on them/clean their boxes/fill up their food. Maybe I’ll have a block party – put an invitation on everyone’s door and invite them over (along with their friends!). Even though I’m planning on only being here for six months longer, it will be nice to meet some people in the block.

What about you? Are you suspicious of your neighbors? Do you know your neighbors? Do your parents know theirs? Let me know your thoughts!

Giveaway next time, so check back soon!

Social Virtualism

Recently Chris wrote a great entry on what he dubbed Social Virtualization, or the idea that you can follow your friends on Twitter and Facebook in such a way that you never need to actually “catch up” with them, but instead you can know intimately about their lives based on the information you’re given (for example, learning about a friend’s upcoming wedding on Facebook – no need to actually call a person to inform them of your engagement!). It means you’re constantly connected with the people around you long after your relationship with them has faded, and similarly, you are connected to people long before you forge a friendship with them.

Chris mentioned social virtualism as a constant connection thing and the dangers of being unable to disconnect and how that is detrimental to a lot of relationships. You forget to check your friend’s twitter update? They might get pissed at you. If you disconnect for a minute people actually get offended by the fact that you haven’t been following their status updates. One example he gave was texting – texting is considered to be an “immediate” form of communication, but texting is actually silent and easy to miss. Many people turn their phone ringers on but turn a texting ringer off – if your phone is in your bag and you have it set to vibrate (or nothing at all), you will miss the text until the next time you check your phone. But many people get offended if you do not answer their texts immediately.

I’d like to talk about the flip-side, though. More communication does NOT mean more friendships. Honestly, it can mean less. We spend so long in our Internet world, forging “friendships” with people we would never want to meet in real life or hang out with or have a phone call with. Stephanie and I met online and quickly became fast friends but we have visited each other twice, despite the fact that we live across the country from each other. But I’ve noticed that these are rare, and more often do people spend their time hanging on to high-school acquaintances, cultivating their 4000 Facebook “friends”, and generally avoiding actually spending quality time with people.

I’m an advocate of turning off the computer and going outside – a huge advocate. I work as a designer/web developer – I sit and stare at a screen allllllllll day. When I get home I want to do nothing more than turn off the computer and play with my cats, paint a picture, or go for a walk with Chris. I don’t want to post on message boards, follow Twitter religiously, and check my email every five minutes. These aren’t fun to me, and I understand they’re fun for other people, but you have to realize something.

There are people out there like me, Stephanie, and Chris who are interested in people like you. We want to hang out with you, have coffee and lunch or go to the park. Unfortunately, I really can’t beat the appeal of “networking” on the “Internet.” I can’t beat World of Warcraft and Farmville and chatting online. I’m interesting but people are far more likely and willing to sit on their butts all day because it’s “fun.”

As little as 10 years ago, we met people through our community. I think those days are long gone, replaced by social virtualization, the act of thinking you have friends when really they’re all just virtual. It’s no wonder we have fewer friends now than we did 25 years ago. Not including family or Chris, I have four people that I can go to for anything I need – three friends from school and Stephanie, but many Americans have NONE. Am I the only one who thinks this is sad?

I think this is just one part of the problem why we have no friends. I will touch on the next part in my next post. It involves trust.

How do you feel about this? Why do you think we have less friends? What do you think communities will look like 10 years from now?

Things to do to cozy up for the winter

It’s been getting chilly here in Texas – it snowed last Friday all over the state. Texas tends to be warmer on average than most other states in the US, but when it gets cold here, it’s just as cold as many other places. It’s been in the 30s lately (and it’s been hovering around 0F where Stephanie is in Minnesota!) and the chilly weather is definitely appropriate for wrapping up and getting cozy, especially with all the rain (and snow, I suppose) that’s been falling. I bike to work 3 miles there and back and the weather has been so chilly and wet that I have been craving some warmth lately.

Here is a list of ways to stay cozy!

1. 1. A super cozy winter throw – I’ve been wrapped up in blankets all winter for things like playing games and reading books. I also have a heated blanket that is a life saver! My feet and hands get icy cold really easily, so without a heated blanket it would take forever to get to sleep at night. It’s perfect!
2. 2. Candles – Soy candles, of course! Lighting a candle instantly makes the place feel warmer.
3. 3. Hot chocolate – We’ve been drinking insane amounts of hot chocolate which is probably terrible for us but oh so good.
4. 4. Watching movies at night – I don’t watch a lot of movies in the summer because the weather is warm! there’s so much to see! there’s so much to do! But in the winter time, I tend to want to snuggle with a blanket and watch a good movie from the rental store or watch some PBS.
5. 5. Baking! – Recently I made macarons, which are terrible for you but completely perfect. I recommend you make some immediately for your health and safety. There’s no better way to make the kitchen (or your stomach!) warm than by baking some cookies.
6. 6. Having cats on your lap – Some of you may not be so fortunate as to have two huge balls of cute, but having two cats, there’s always one that’s willing to climb up and take a nap. Cats make great heaters, especially when they’re asleep.
7. 7. Tea or mulled cider – Nothing warmer (except maybe hot chocolate). We’ve been mulling cider and drinking tea like it’s nobody’s business.
8. 8. Get off the computer and get under a blanket – Seriously, office chairs are cold!

How are you staying cozy this winter (or if you live in the Southern hemisphere, how are you staying cool)?

Why I am quitting Nanowrimo

I have been doing Nanowrimo since 2002 – that’s eight years if you count this one. But first, a history of my writing career. I’ve been writing since I could read – in second grade I was the first person to get a book “published” under my teacher’s “publishing” system. I don’t remember too many achievements in elementary school, but I definitely remember that one. From then on that’s all I did. I talked with my dad about writing and I wrote like crazy. None of my stories were very good, of course, but they were mine.

Then I hit junior high and wrote my first novel. It was short, of course, and badly written with a terribly obvious “twist” at the end. I remember telling my friend about it and she decided to write one with me. It was a big secret. I wrote longhand, and during class, and it was a constant thing. I loved it to death.

Then I moved to Texas in high school and many of my stories got lost in the move. That didn’t deter me. I wrote on an old Windows 3 machine in elementary school and I continued writing on an old Windows 95 machine in junior high. In high school I got my own computer and kept going from there. Then I learned about Nanowrimo when I was 14.

Keep in mind this was “before it was cool.” This was before the Internet was mainstream, back when everyone made their websites on Geocities and Facebook wasn’t invented yet. There weren’t a whole lot of people doing Nanowrimo at this point. But there it was and I was so excited about it. So I wrote my book, stopped at 10,000 words, and essentially forgot about it for awhile. But I didn’t stop writing that year. I kept going, writing for fun, almost every single day. I wrote my second novel.

Then I remembered Nanowrimo again right before 2003. I made a new username and there I went. And I won. And I won again after that. And I won every single year including this year. And this is where I’m going to stop.

I believe in Nanowrimo, but I believe in it for the thing that it originally stood for – a way for people who want to be writers to finish their writing. Well, I know I can finish my writing. I know I can keep going. I know I can churn out a novel and finish it. But Nanowrimo has changed, and with it, I have changed.

Nanowrimo is now about “how many words can you get?” It’s about not getting 50,000, but going beyond that and writing a million words in a month for a lot of people. Nanowrimo has never been about quality of writing, but it was meant as a tool for writers, and so it’s one of those things where it’s assumed you’re writing because you love to write and want to get something published or share with your friends. But now there’s no expectation of that. It’s ONLY about word count now. It’s ONLY about getting “as many words as you can.” I’ve even read multiple people who count their blog posts–or essays written for school, or random tangents in the middle of their story, or journal entries–toward their word count. That’s not what Nanowrimo is about to me, and I cannot support that.

But it’s more than that. I have more personal reasons, of course. I pour all my creativity and effort into one solid month of the year and I don’t have any energy to write after that. I save it all up for Nanowrimo – I don’t have any energy after it. Now that I’m starting to get pretty serious about my writing, I’ve realized that this is unacceptable. I need to write every day, instead of barfing out a hastily crafted novel one month out of a year. The only serious things I’ve done outside of Nanowrimo in the past few years have been short stories. I want to write a novel, dang it!

So I’m quitting Nanowrimo to regain my creative sanity, to have more time and energy during the year, and a little bit because I don’t like what it’s becoming. Nanowrimo is a networking tool that helps get some words down, but I can get these words without it. I want to love writing again instead of thinking of it as a chore every November.

As a side note, what’s up with all these weird Nanowrimo spin-offs, like National Novel Writing Year and National Blog Posting Month? It’s baffling to me…

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