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This is a book I have to take time to read. After every chapter I lay it down for a while and try to soak in what it’s arguing. While it’s certainly an ideological argument, a lot of its supporting arguments make me nod my head in agreement. Personally, I’d love to combine environmentalism with social justice. Those two things make me angrier than anything else. But I don’t see how. I don’t know if I’ve constructed barriers or if they just happen, but I have fairly little contact with people of color. I don’t know how to get involved with either types of organizations, environmentalism or social justice. It makes me sad.

And yet organizations themselves tend to see blind themselves, as Van Jones points out in chapter 4. There are many reasons why I won’t talk to people stopping me in the street, and one big one is that I hate how they just want to pressure you with the problems, things to worry about. Sign up, give them money, and they’ll fix it. They don’t tell you how to fix it. What we can do, etc. Van Jones offers a more inclusive way to work to solve problems: first, figure out the solutions you’re going to represent, and second, include everyone. Don’t look at corporations as enemies. Don’t look at the people working there as enemies. Treat them as potential allies. This resonated deeply with me because I’ve been reading a lot about love-based instead of fear-based thinking, and this solution is definitely love-based rather than fear-based. We spend far too much time being afraid of others, when we could be accepting them as they are and learning from them. Van Jones argues it in different words, but it’s the same philosophy.

I read this book and think about what’s happening now: the great big BP Oil Spill and I feel hopeless. We had all this momentum going for the presidential elections, now we need a new leader to harness it again and get people rallying for themselves. We can’t just let the government take care of anything. As the book argues, the government should be a partner to the ordinary people, not Big Brother or subject to the big corporations that act as if they own it.

As I wrote earlier, however, the arguments in this book require a massive shift from a fear-based society to a love-based society where we work together without fear, blame, guilt, anger of others. I don’t think we can realize such a shift in the next few years. I don’t know how we can realize such a shift without people being aware of how they’re perceiving the world, and I have a feeling that that’s one thing people really aren’t aware of. Personally, I’m trying my best right now just to help others become aware of it — and then go on to the environmentalism and social justice causes…

The other day I decided to try my hand at making some caramel, which turned out just great. I got the recipe here. I chose this particular recipe for several reasons:

1. I didn’t want to use corn syrup at all. Maybe it’s just me wigging out about high fructose corn syrup and Food Inc. with its whole “corn is in everything,” but I definitely didn’t want corn syrup. That eliminated a LOT of recipes.
2. I also kind of wanted to use honey. We picked up a ton of honey at the farmer’s market last Saturday and it is really decent, but moreover we have a lot. Also the lady kept saying that they had JUST harvested it from the honeycombs, which means my honey is still less than two weeks old. That’s pretty awesome.

My honey isn’t super strong, so I did one cup sugar, one cup honey, but next time I think I’ll just go with the 1 1/2 cup sugar, 1/2 cup honey. It ended up tasting a little more like those Bit O’ Honeys than real caramel, which was fine, but next time, less honey. I also bought some fancy salt and sprinkled it on the top, which was perfect – salt is the best seasoning for sweet things.

I also wounded myself twice: I burned myself (do not touch a hot spoon, especially a spoon that is about 250F), and I stabbed myself with a knife cutting the caramel. Good times.

A++++ would make again.

• It’s All in the Numbers by Tanya Huff, an essay on how capitalism changed the sci-fi genre. AKA the fewer corporations in power there are, the less variety of anything. Sadface.
• My catalyst for trying to get off the computer more.
• Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack: Straight Privilege Edition. The original “Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack” (of white privilege) really touched me and this is a good way to keep going on that theme.

So kids, get off the computer and do something!

Like look at some flowers…

A long time ago I read a few creative blogs that talked about being your whole self online. Rather than hiding away the personal details, they shared and in sharing themselves they connected to so many more people and so many more opportunities. They grew into creative individuals. That’s one of my secret dreams.

Becky wants to be a published author. I just want to be a writer. To start with, I try to write blog posts, although as you may have noticed, those have been fairly few lately. I’ve been trying to rest (but not doing so well!) so I have enough energy to do those things I really, really want to do.

The question is, do I have the motivation to do the things I really want to? The focus? The determination? I’m not sure. I’ve kept a lot of my dreams secret because I don’t want to start and then fail and have others known I’ve failed. The more you’re used to not failing, the less you try new things. Or at least that’s the case with me. I will happily write blog posts, but I won’t try to write a book, for fear of failure (and/or of not getting started). I will happily daydream about all the cool clothes I might knit rather than learn some new techniques and apply them and fail at something and get up and dust myself off and try again. I will happily pick up books on drawing from the library but when it comes time to crack them open I might avoid it for a while.

At the same time, I’m tired of avoiding myself and my dreams. I want to be my whole self. I want to live happily.

The first thing I’m going to do is create a partial list of my current dreams. creating dreams come true starts out with a list of ALL your dreams, but that would take a lot of time off of the computer and right now I just want to stick to the dreams I’ve been putting off for too long.

My dreams:

• Learn to draw well enough that I don’t cringe to show others what I’ve drawn.
• Learn to read the Tarot
• Sew my own clothes!
• Be a good writer.
• Knit a whole winters’ worth of sweaters.

Those are my most prevalent dreams. Funny how they’re all sort of creative? I’ve been pushing my creative self back too long. Time to let me play.

*Title from the song “All I have to do is dream” by The Everly Brothers.

• The man behind @BPGlobalPR. I am angry about the oil spill. Now what do we do?
• CA poised to OK supertoxic pesticide: as a permanent resident of California, this freaks me out just as much as the oil spill. Right. Tell me how to get this reversed, please.
• Such a cute dress! Becky and I have been a little obsessed with sewing this week, so I thought I’d save this and share.

Green makes me happy.

And now, a happy Friday to you all! I’m off to try to respond to some comments and e-mails and, well, keep going… Little rest this weekend, I fear. It’s summer, after all!

So, here I am, writing a lot. I love to write. I also love to read. Ever since I was small I’ve wanted to publish a novel. I’ve wanted to see my name on the shelves. I’ve wanted to have something I’ve written be read and enjoyed by others. And so I would write and write and write, and eventually I’d start realizing that my story wasn’t publish-worthy, and I’d stop. And then I’d maybe start something else, constantly growing frustrated.

Anyway, long story short, I realized that this isn’t any way to get published. The only way to become a good writer is to keep writing, even when things aren’t quite so great. There’s a difference between my dream of being published and the individual goals I have to make to accomplish that dream. First I have to finish a novel (which I have done, but not often enough). Then I have to revise it. Then I prepare a manuscript. Then I send it off. Then I get rejected. Then I send it again. So on and so forth until I’m published. But I can’t sit here and expect every thing that comes out of my fingers to be solid gold.

I guess I always had this theory that Famous Writers were just awesome at it the first time. You hear stories about how they would send off their first manuscript to a bajillion people before they were finally accepted, but it’s always under the impression that their story was AMAZING and the publishers were just idiotic morons. So I always had the opinion, even if it was deep down inside, that all the best writers were JUST SO GREAT from the beginning of time, and it was the stupid unlucky publishing industry that kept them from being published right away.

But I’ve been following the blog of a budding writer, and she’s working on a book that she’s convinced is seriously The Book. And she’s a great writer, but you know what? She’s written a bunch of books that she’s either not sent off or been rejected. But those books that she’s written aren’t throwaway! They weren’t a waste of time! They were all part of the path she had to take to reach the point where she’s good enough to make it this far. I guess I’ve been scared of spending a year on something that will end up being a waste of time.

Well, it’s NOT a waste of time, even if it isn’t published. And it’s important for ALL artistic things and hobbies that we realize it. Our failures aren’t really failures – they’re just part of the journey. They’re necessary practice steps. And if you don’t do them, you can’t even get good. The time you put into projects is worth it NO MATTER WHAT, even if you don’t end up using the finished product for anything. Even if you end up throwing it away. It’s necessary! And I know that’s obvious but I think it was a lot of discovery to finally realize this.

Being creative is a process, not your one final amazing product. And I think because of this realization, I’m not afraid to try new things now. To plunge into it and FINISH it even if it’s not as good as I’d hoped it would be. Because that’s how you learn and how you grow.

So it’s time to keep writing and finish another novel, and then I can revise it or scrap it. Either way, I’ll have practiced and learned a lot. And maybe with enough practice, I’ll get good enough that I can get something really and truly published.

- Becky

I’ll let this sink in a few moments.

Yes, it’s a course on vampires.

Of course, this means I actually have to catch up on vampires in the current media. After all, it’s a big obsession with people right now, and I have to figure out why so I have something to add to the class. I’ve seen Angel and I went to Twilight: New Moon so I could laugh at the corniness (and do something with my friends, who are fans…), but otherwise I’ve been staying away from the vampire hype.

This summer shall be the time to rectify that. Anyone want to join in?

My plan was to start with the Twilight books, but I couldn’t bring myself to order them before I found other vampire books to start off with. So far I’ve read the first two books of the Sookie Stackhouse series, on which the TV show True Blood is based. I’ve also read the book Key to Justice which also deals with vampires “outed” to the world. I might also watch some Buffy and re-watch Angel. And, of course, scour the library and pick up all books that mention vampires.

What are your favorite vampire stories? Which ones would you like to read or re-read this summer?

Some links:

• Ramblings about Women on TV on No Signposts in the Sea. I love pretty much everything on this blog. The author makes a lot of great connections. I don’t completely agree with her about the Bones example, but that’s partly because I started off watching the show identifying very strongly with Dr. Brennan. (I’ve softened a bit in the meantime.)
• By the same author: On Modeling. We all say (or at least think) many things about the modeling industry, so I love having this insight from a former model who I also have a lot of respect for because of her ability to synthesize information and come to conclusions.
• I booked this long, long ago, but I think it’s even more relevant to me today: creating dreams come true. I’ve been fighting/resisting my dreams in the last few days and I’m starting to wear myself thin arguing with myself. Maybe it’s time to start encouraging me.

Beauty and Joy:

True story: I’m gonna take and post a picture (to Flickr) every day. I’m not sure for how long yet, but I’m going to do it. So: More fodder for Beauty and Joy Project and the blog! Woohoo! Happy, happy Friday and those of us in the US — happy Memorial Day weekend. =)

So I’m going to post on what Becky was starting to get anxious that she was posting too much about: food. Neener neener neener. Hey, we gotta eat 3-4 times a day, might as well enjoy talking about food!

Because of our little potato rivalry (see sidebar), when I passed The Ultimate Potato Cookbook in the library I had to pick it up. On Wednesday I tried my first recipe from it, one of the easiest:

Curried Thai red lentil soup. AKA delicious. It’s hard to believe I could make something like that, but I guess my skills are definitely growing. And hopefully growing a lot by the end of the summer.

Last night’s dinner, huevos rancheros. I had a poaching pan and tortillas. I want to have a huevos rancheros party. So I better get good at making them first. Quick and easy but I have to work on my timing. Both poached eggs and tortillas heat up quick and you want them to heat up at the same time.

I’ll leave you with a little bit of adorable and promise to come back soon: