Outgoing mail

That would be the mail I sent out on Saturday—a letter and three postcards! I love the shorter nature of the postcard: I can send a few without thinking too much about it, whereas I tend to obsess over letters. And they’re so cute and the gift store nearby has so many to choose from!

But I’m not allowed to buy more until I’ve used more.

Does anyone want to be postcard penpals? Exchange postcards and short stories? The laid-back, yet somewhat-quicker-than-letters correspondence?

Achieving a richer culture

I have to admit that I was disappointed by the comments on the thank you post. Perhaps I was naïve to expect that everyone would agree with me—the letter-writing proponents don’t hang around here very often, after all. But it’s a good chance to open up discussion, and I do love discussion. (By the way, if you haven’t noticed you can reply to others’ comments in the comments section, and Becky and I will be doing the same in order to have more of a back-and-forth conversation with you all. )

Becky argued that, because we have all these new methods of communication (text messages, e-mails, Facebook), people don’t write and mail cards and notes. It’s too easy to send an e-mail or Facebook message. True. However, the next step after letting ourselves become too lazy to mail a card is to become too lazy to write an e-mail. Once everything became instant, it seems like people began to hold communication in less importance and stopped trying to communicate with others on a deeper level. Collectively we began to believe that because you check your Facebook and read everyone’s status messages every day means you know what’s going on in your friends’ lives. Except, without actually talking to those friends, you don’t know at all what’s going on. When we adopted “easier” (perhaps it’s more specific to say “instant”) methods of communication, we took it to mean that we didn’t need to communicate as we had been. We’re friends on Facebook, so why do I need to send her a message in addition to that?

For me, that’s a problem. I don’t enunciate my thoughts nearly as well in conversation as in writing, and I don’t think many people like to talk about what’s really important to them. Writing it out is one thing, but actually saying it aloud is another, and I really appreciate getting to know what’s important to my friends. Things come up in letters and long e-mails that you wouldn’t necessarily throw in a conversation. But with the lack of people taking advantage of these mediums of conversation, we lose a deeper connection to each other, a deeper understanding of each other, something I don’t want to lose.

I also worry that this lack of meaningful communication with others has led many people to stop caring about the other people in the world. If all we ever talk about is that we’re doing laundry, or chillin’, eating a burrito, why should anyone care about what we have to say? From 140 characters on Twitter to communicating via status message on Facebook, I’ve started to believe that this method of shortened communication has desensitized people to the needs of others. If you’re not forced to elaborate on your thoughts, it reinforces our natural laziness to the point that we really don’t care about others. We should instead be vigilant to how we treat people so that we really do care about getting to know them and accept others as they are, and then they will accept and care for us too.

Thoughts? Comments? Discussion? We’re all ears eyes!

*Title “inspired” by this quotation

The Art of the Thank You

Hello all! Have you missed me? I have to admit, the more and more I reacquaint myself with the Internet world, the more and more I realize how much I’ve missed all of YOU. I’ve always said that the reason blogging is such a great outlet is because of the connections you make with other people. So, here I am, once again trying hard to establish a habit of writing.

Speaking of writing, when was the last time you thought about writing thank-you cards? Was it that time, just after Christmas, where you threw a fit when your mother reminded you for the umpteenth time that you have to write thank-you cards for all the presents you got, but you didn’t like the presents you got so you didn’t want to thank whoever gave you them? Or was it when you last applied for a job, and sent along a note thanking the interviewer for giving you a chance, as many people recommend you do? Neither? Both?

To be sure, writing thank-you cards has possibly become more of a lost art than letter-writing, as I have yet to come across a “thank-you cards” blog, but I have come across multitudes of letter-writing ones. Letter-writing is re-surging in the public interest, but thank-you cards remain something only talked about when Emily Post is brought up.

To which I say: No more! Let’s talk about writing thank-you letters. Hey, let’s talk about telling people thank-you, from your heart! What I find wanting in the age of mass communication is not a lack of communication, but a lack of honest communication. It seems to me that I only talk about important things in my classes, and then I talk about them intellectually rather than passionately. I want to talk passionately more often, with more people. I want to have a Meeting of the Minds about how I feel about stewarding the Earth over a cup of hot chocolate at a local café. I want to talk about art and creativity, and how they make you feel more alive. I want to talk about what’s in your heart.

And I want to make absolutely sure those people that do kind things for me know how much I appreciate it.

Which is why I keep a variety of blank note-cards on hand: whenever I receive a gift, or experience someone’s kindness, I like to make sure I have my cards on-hand so that I can write while I’m still feeling the initial awe and gratitude. I find that I don’t want to write a thank-you note if I have to lay out money for a new card each time, and if I have cards already I’m still so excited about the receipt of a gift that I really, really want to just write it out. Then it’s done already, without fuss and with real excitement.

Part of me wonders if my partiality to thank-you cards comes from my time spent in Vienna, a city where the people are readily characterized as “very well-mannered”. While my professors certainly acted with a degree of manners to which I am not at all used to (as a rude American), there was one event in which a couple of strangers did the kindest things for me, simply because they were asked to. I couldn’t fathom their generosity. I wanted so badly to make sure they knew how much I appreciated it, and I bought a thank-you card right away and sent it off. I’m still not sure if it was received, but I hope they know that they contributed greatly to my good impression of a certain landmark and architect in Vienna.

Because of the Viennese rubbing off on me, and my own desire to make people feel appreciated, blank cards for thank-you notes are an important tool in my arsenal of stationery. They may not be used extremely often, but they are there for the times when I realize I need them, and I hope I have convinced you as well of their utility.

Remember to enter Becky’s giveaway! Enough entries and I might host one of my own.

Social Virtualism: Fear

Ack, been awhile. I mentioned in my last post about how we are too lazy to seek out new friends. Now I’m going to talk about another component in the picture: fear.

Turn on any news program in the US, UK, or Australia, and chances are you’ll see stories of The White Girl Getting Kidnapped, dangers of sexual predators, toxins in your every day food! Swine Flu! Russians have nukes! Anthrax! THE WAR ON IRAQ! MURDERERS! SERIAL KILLERS! TEACHERS MOLESTING YOUR CHILDREN! RAZOR BLADES IN HALLOWEEN CANDY! THERE ARE NO JOBS! THE ECONOMY! HEALTH CARE REFORM! IT’S COLD OUTSIDE!

It’s no wonder that if you talk to any parent, she will clutch her child protectively and say something to the effect of, “You can trust anybody today.”

I have gone over to friend’s houses who have refused to open their blinds even during broad daylight because “you never know who might be looking in.” I have met parents who refuse to let their children go outside by themselves for fear of kidnapping. Every single new scare that comes in strikes panic in the hearts of us. Every single new person that moves into the neighborhood is probably a drug dealer or a rapist. It doesn’t help that the news is encouraging this as well as books like The Lovely Bones (which is being made into a movie so it can be even more accessible to freak people out) where the killer was the nice neighborly guy next door!

Guess what? I think we secretly like scaring ourselves. I think we like thinking that everyone out there is out to get us because we like the thrill of pretending we’re in an action movie.

But as it turns out, your neighborhood is probably more normal than you think it is. Sure, bad things happen every day but these events are much rarer than real risks and dangers you put yourself in every day, like driving a car. You’re more likely to get into a car accident than have your creepy next door neighbor steal your kid. But no one is afraid to get inside of their cars.

I guess what I’m saying is we can’t foster a community until we stop thinking that everybody on our block is out to get us. We can’t keep believing that our neighbors are “creepy” and “probably drug dealers.” Once we do, suddenly the world becomes a much more pleasant place – our neighbors are friendly and reliable to feed our cats and water our plants while we’re away, the grocery store clerk becomes someone to chat with, and your kids can roam the neighborhood without being kidnapped.

The way I see it, it’s a circle. We fear our neighbors and so we never talk to them. They remain a mystery and we’re always scared of the unknown, so we are afraid of them even more and on and on it goes. And guess what? Your neighbors are probably suspicious of you too. There’s no way to end this until someone finally waves across the yard or has a block party to get to know everyone.

And it’s hard. I don’t know my neighbors very well. I make the excuse, oh, I’m moving in 6 months so what’s the point? But I realized as I left for my parents’ house for Christmas (20 minutes away from where I live with Chris) that it would have been nice to ask my next door neighbor to feed the cats every day. Instead, I have to go back every few days to check on them/clean their boxes/fill up their food. Maybe I’ll have a block party – put an invitation on everyone’s door and invite them over (along with their friends!). Even though I’m planning on only being here for six months longer, it will be nice to meet some people in the block.

What about you? Are you suspicious of your neighbors? Do you know your neighbors? Do your parents know theirs? Let me know your thoughts!

Giveaway next time, so check back soon!

We are damning the world’s future leaders…

…or at least half of them.

I’ve never really cared much for my name. Rebecca. It’s pretty plain, though I don’t know another person with that name. I asked my mother once why she named me that and she told me because it’s a versatile name with tons of options (Becky, Becca, Reba, Rebee, Rebecca, etc), but it’s still common enough that people will know how to spell it and I won’t get any weirdness for my name. Today, I’m pretty grateful to her. I think Becky is a fun name and it suits me better, but Rebecca is a good name to have people take me more seriously, like if I ever wanted to become a doctor or lawyer or politician (I don’t, but even if I did, it wouldn’t be weird).

I recently read an article on Reddit where someone put the names of the students on his wife’s kindergarten roster. The list includes some real gems, such as: Labronchea, Sirius, Leighaja, Kylinn, and Armontasha.

You can name your kid what you want. But when you’re naming your little boy (girl?) Labronchea, you are seriously making his life difficult until… well, until he dies. And I know “Kylinn” is omg so cute!, but can you ever imagine going to see your oncologist, whose name happens to be Dr. Kylinn Smith? I’m sorry, maybe I’m reluctant to jump on this whole “let’s come up with the most unique name ever” bandwagon, but I can’t take someone whose name is Kylinn seriously.

Yes, MaKenzie and KayLeigh and MaKayla and Precious and L-ia (Ladashia) and Genesis and Daisy and Angel are just the CUTEST NAMES EVER, but once they get beyond a baby and grow up to a real, live, functioning adult… then what? Then is KayLeigh going to go on to med school and become a world famous doctor?

Your own name is extremely important to you (and if it’s not, you’re one of the few – you’d be surprised at how important people’s names are to them). Mess up someone’s name and you are in for a bad impression. Get it right and you’ve made a friend. Names affect our perceptions of people, whether you like it or not. Names like Adam and John and Susan makes us think of solid, dependable people. Names like Zoe makes us think of someone fun and quirky, and names like Kylinn and Precious make us thing of… well, a pansy. A baby. A little girl who will never grow up into a woman.

Certainly it doesn’t make you think of a lawyer, or a doctor, or a politician, or a humanitarian, or an economist. It doesn’t make you think of someone solid and dependable.

Honestly, if you want my opinion, it makes me think of the names of… well, a stripper.

I am being brutally honest but I feel like this is important. You do all sorts of things to shape your child into the sort of person you think he or she should be. I’m sure in fifty years we’ll be more used to these sorts of names, but even so, while we are used to names like Brianna and Tiffany, they still do not inspire greatness in me. They still remind me of baby names, not names for successful women.

You want to name your kid something bizarre and cutesy? Fine, go ahead. But realize that your tiny baby daughter is going to grow up into a real, live woman. And when that happens, she may want to become something great.

And she also might want to change her name, while she’s at it.

Introversion

I’ve been procrastinating today by reading about introversion. Which isn’t particularly something I need to read, except to reaffirm that my feelings are valid, but something I wish I could make everyone on my college campus read. So I don’t feel so bad for not going out on Friday nights and instead staying in and knitting and watching TV. Recharging.

I particularly like this quotation from The Top 10 Ways to Market to Introverts: Above all else, do not use your cell phone in our presence. Introverts are hysterically vexed by what we consider this ultimate rudeness. If you want me to give it you straight, we also think you are pathetic because you can’t be alone for a moment with yourself. I think that thought every single time I see someone walking down the street with a cell phone glued to their ear, not paying attention to what they’re doing or where they’re going. It’s always shocking and re-affirming when I read things like this that completely match my experiences (I mean the entire article now). It feels like I’m being validated. Pay particular attention to #1-5. Especially #1, if you’re marketing to me. I definitely have no qualms about hanging up on telemarketers. (Very recently, I had this conversation with a telemarketer at 10:30pm: “Let me get this straight. You’re trying to sell me a newspaper?” “Yes, and —” “I’m sorry, I don’t buy newspapers. Good-bye.” As she started trying to say something else I hung up. Good-bye is good-bye and where did she get my phone number?? “Just keep talking” does NOT work on me. And I HATE being interrupted by someone on the street, unless that person is just trying to be friendly.)

I also enjoyed reading I Want to Be Alone. I love how she says at the end that she works 8-10 hours alone and then is glad to see her husband come home. I would be too! While I need time alone, lots more than most people, I love to see friends later. As long as you have the balance you need, it works. Introversion doesn’t mean you can live without people, it means you need to balance it. Just as the article Introvert Question and Answer: Friends vs. Alone makes the case for.

So I hope I’ve educated you a bit about introversion today. You know, the blogging brain is rusty. In a few more days I hopefully will have more interesting things to read about. Now go check out Logical Answers for Sticky Situations and enter their giveaway!

Dear Lunsh.net readers,

Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t want a postcard.

I made a few postcards last week for the people who requested them, but there’s still time to request (see this post). I mean, I just bought bunches of new postcards, too. The Postcard Collection Continues!

So you might not even get views of places I’ve been: you might get cats or drawings inspired by life in Japan. Doesn’t that sound like fun? I order you to request a postcard from me!

I might even decorate the front.

I’m sure you could use some fun in your mailbox, and I have a postcard collection to get rid of. So what do you think? Want a postcard now?

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